Holy Grail – or where the grass is greener

29 Jan

There is something that really strikes me about my generation: we are insatiable!

We are always looking for the best food, the best training, the best instagram picture, the best partner, the best pole dance course.

Good is never enough. There is always something better that (we think) we need.

But with this need of perfection comes a dreadful curse: We will always be unsatisfied.

Nothing will ever be good enough.

And in todays world, changing at a rapid pace, even the smallest moment of bliss is over in a second because there will always be a new „favourite“ restaurant opening up around the corner, you don´t even have time to cue up at 2am in the morning to get the latest iPhone… the next one is already out. And you HAVE to have it (I mean YOU, not me… I really don´t get the hype, but that´s my personal opinion) because it is soooooo much better than the one before. We think we derserve what´s best and are constantly looking for it.

In short: we are looking for the holy grail!

Let´s face it folks, we will never find it. It changes it´s appearance on a nanosecond basis… most of the time we don´t even know what we are looking for, but we need it anyway.

So one day I was talking to one of my friends, one of the few truely happy and balanced people in my life and I was wondering why she was this way. Compared to others she almost seems to be moving in slow motion, never hectic, stressed or insecure.


I am not a big fan of this word… actually you get it slammed in your face at every corner nowadays along with „self-love“ and „limited beliefs“ (whatever those are…). But my point is: the few people I know who are trulely happy  and fully enjoy life, are those who enjoy and appreciate what they already have. They like their own grass however green it might be. Andi f it´s not as green as they would want it to be, well then they go out and do everything they can to make it greener.

So instead of moving house everytime something is amiss, they just take care oft he little things that make the big picture wrong.

Because here´s where we all probably are wrong, when something is not working, we try to turn around our entire life to make things right. We try everything we can, exhaust ourselves trying and will always feel frustrated because it´s not what we wanted.

So instead of running away, why not trying to sit down with yourself, have some tea and figure out what exactly has you so restless and try to fix it with little home remedies. Because in the end, you are your biggest ressource. You will never run out of ideas and opportunities to improve yourself but your phone´s battery eventually might run out of battery.

And once you start to feel comfortable in your own home, you will realize that you are actually living in the now.



A New Chapter

2 Jan

a new chapter

The other night I walked through the snow, watching snowflakes getting caught in my hair and listening to the Darling Buds.

I started thinking about the year that had passed. All the good things and all the bad.

Sometimes it is quite difficult to separate the two. I have finally finished my studies but instead of feeling relieved or wanting to celebrate it has left me exhausted and emotionally drained.

I have loved with all my heart but instead of feeling cherished and protected I ended up feeling betrayed, insecure and pushed away.

I was frightened and felt left alone and ironically the only thing that could give me a sense of security was the only thing I never cared about before or never thought mattered in my life.

All together, besides the good and happy moments, my accomplishments and the end of long-lasting burdens, 2014 has taken what little energy I had and left me hanging in the fog.

So here you are now 2015, full of promises of lighter days, possibilities, open doors and adventures.

I shall cherish every new experience and everything that leads me back to my true self, a self I haven´t seen in years and started missing along the road.

And maybe one day, I shall be able to take off my poker face and cry myself to sleep and feel the relief I´ve been waiting for.

I wish you all a Happy New Year. May it be filled with love, luck and gratitude.

If it´s autumn already…

2 Sep

…we might as well have spring 🙂

Sacher Torte – Austrian Chocolate Cake

21 Jul

This is the best Austrian chocolate cake. It´s a classic called Sacher Torte. You can put any marmalade you want but the original comes with apricot marmalade.

Sacher Torte

You need:

  • 130g of dark chocolate
  • 130g of butter (room temperature)
  • 40g of icing sugar
  • 5g of vanilla sugar (or vanilla essence)
  • a pinch of salt
  • 6 yolks
  • 6 egg whites
  • 180g sugar
  • 130g of flour
  • Icing:
  • 400g of apricot marmalade
  • Chocolate icing/frosting (ready to use)

Here it goes:

Preheat oven at 190°C. Melt the chocolate in a water bath and stir it with a spatula. Add butte, icing sugar, salt and vanilla sugar. Stir until creamy and slowly add the egg yolks. Whip egg whites until stiff and add the sugar. Alternately fold in the flour and the egg white to the chocolate mix. Butter the inside of the form and sprinkle in some flour. Put in the batter and put into the oven for about 60 minutes. Once the cake is ready let it cool down on some baking paper then cut it in half (horizontally). Spread some marmalade on the bottom half and put the top part back on. Then spread the entire cake with a thin layer of marmalade (it helps when you slightly warm up the marmalade). Then melt the chocolate icing/frosting and spread it on the cake. Let it cool down in the fridge for a while.

Sacher Torte is best served with whipped cream and creamy cafe latte.

Enjoy 😉

PS: In the picture you can see what happens when you don´t let it cool down in the fridge. It was so hot, half of my frosting melted away…  But it was still delicious 😉

Happy Birthday

1 Jun

Vanilla Nostalgia is turning 3 today!!!

Thank you to everybody who has participated, helped, supported (or been against it, coz I think that is also a way of motivating), believed in, loved, inspired and read this blog.

Lots of Love

Rhubarb Apple Crumble

1 Jun

Because it is rhubarb season and because I had lots of other stuff to do today I didn´t feel like doing. J


You need:

  • 400g of Rhubarb
  • 2 big apples
  • ½ cup of flour
  • 50g of butter
  • Sugar
  • Vanilla
  • Cinnamon

Here it goes:

Preheat the oven at 200°C. Cut the rhubarb and apples into tiny cubes. Put into a gratin or pie form. Spill sugar, cinnamon and vanilla on top (I cheated, I used cinnamon sugar). Mix the flour with the butter, add sugar, vanilla and cinnamon to the mix. Mix it until you get little crumbs or a “wet sand” kind of texture. Sprinkle the batter onto the fruit cubes and put into the oven for around 30 minutes.

Tip: Serve warm with custard or a spoon of vanilla ice cream.


Orient Express – Inside the Myth

11 May

I really don´t know where my obsession with the Orient Express comes from but maybe it´s that vintage glamour. That luxury from days in the past when travelling was an experience and not just convenient. Anyway, If you happen to be in Paris anytime soon, be sure to pop by at the Orient Express exibition open untin August.

Orient Express



















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